Nobody's Perfect

“I'm not the prettiest you've ever seen

But I have my moments, I have my moments

Not the flawless one, I've never been

But I have my moments, I have my moments

I can get a little drunk; I get into all the don'ts

But on good days I am charming as fuck”

So this song has been stuck in my head for a few weeks now. I think I am driving my girlfriend crazy with it. (To be honest it’s my ringtone for her too LOL). It’s called Moments by Tove Lo. Actually go download her whole album. It’s always on repeat for me. But back to the whole point of this post… I am not perfect. I try to be, it’s something that is imbedded in me to strive for perfection and these last few months have seriously been HARD!

You see I am on my journey to get healthier and I am a big under eater. It got so bad that my body has gone into “ Starvation” mode which means:

“A state in which the body is responding to prolonged periods of low energy intake levels. During short periods of energy abstinence, the human body will burn primarily free fatty acids from body fat stores. After prolonged periods of starvation the body has depleted its body fat and begins to burn lean tissue and muscle as a fuel source”

My nutritionist defined it as, I was not eating enough and my body decided to store everything I ate since it thought I was “dying” and wanted to keep me alive. Now mind you this does not happen overnight. I have always eaten 1-2 big meals almost my whole life. I am used to it, and back before I had heart surgery it was actually no problem. I was a 5’5 at a healthy weight of between 140-150 pounds (but at 17 I thought I was “fat”). They found a congenital heart condition that went untreated for 17 whole freaking years. They told me I had Mitral Valve Prolapse with severe Regurgitation. The Mitral valve prolapse means my heart valve wasn’t functioning right and wasn’t “flapping” correctly. The severe regurgitation meant (well for me) that 75% of the blood my heart was pumping was flowing the wrong way because of my flappy valve. I had absolutely no symptoms (other than the extremely loud murmur multiple doctors where in awe of and wanted to hear, go figure). Long story short the surgeon said to me “we can repair your valve. You will definitely die if you do not get this Surgery, you may die during surgery since we are stopping your heart for a long period of time, and you may also need another surgery in the future”. What choice did I have at 17? I said go for it, and they did. Needless to say I am still here. But the thing is after that surgery my active lifestyle became nonexistent. I was put on bedrest for a few months. I got my license and bought my first car (a 1992 Honda.. I was born in 1991) so why walk anywhere anymore? Why do anything even remotely active? I never changed my eating habits so the weight just began to pile on. My body was storing the fat. I never understood WTF was happening because I really wasn’t eating fifty meals, just my 1-2 large ones, all is good in the world so why am I 50 pounds heavier? Fast forward to this year where I am nearly 100 pounds heavier with arthritis in many different places AND a slightly leaky valve, do I need surgery again? No my cardiologist says… but I should drop the weight, and soon.

So I finally decided to do something about it and I joined the Beachbody team!! Yay me!! I mean I feel like I have a whole new family that is so supportive of me every step of the way. The only problem is… I still haven’t been able to nail my food intake!!! This has been a struggle for the past 2 months now. Don’t get me wrong I am losing inches due to my daily exercises, but I am not doing the whole thing 100% because I can’t find the time to eat. I am so used to my 1-2 meals that I feel lost eating any more. And I don’t seem to find the time in the day. Like where the fuck is the time and how the fuck do I get in 5-6 meals? Are they crazy?!

So this is my post to say no I am NOT perfect. I am still learning like many of my clients, and it is definitely a work in progress. I do not try to pretend that I am perfect because I believe that showing my flaws makes me more relatable and a better fitness motivator in the long run. So with that said would you like to join me on my journey to a healthier self? I promise I will be honest. I have been for this long. Many of my clients have amazing success stories, one lost 10 pounds and nearly 18 inches in a total of 24 days. Now that to me is definitely success. If you do want to join the imperfect coach who will push you hard to get through your journey than message me at jani.vargasbb@gmail.com or click on the FB link and follow me. We can figure what is best for you. Hey maybe you can also help me get this eating thing down….

Crap I think it’s time for a snack!!